13th
The Quandrous Quagmire of My Unfair Lady
The McCain campaign quickly muzzled down Palin after her spat of incoherant interviews to give her a My Fair Lady-style, firehose-meets-gullet foreign policy tutorial.
‘You betcha, gosh darn it, the premier of Spain is a pain to McCain,’ Sarah tossed off with a wink that was more palsy than folksy to ex-Secretary of State Henry Kissinger, the gravely dowager of failed Republican foreign policies.
‘Madame Governor, if you would like to try again, ‘The Prime Minister of Spain is a valued NATO ally and partner in the global war on terror,’ Henry instructed gently.
Bill Kristol, the editor of the Weekly Standard, penned a column later advocating that Palin was a squandered treasure by being sequestered by the senior campaign McCainiacs, who were all refugees from the failed state of Wland or moderates visibly uncomfortable with The Base’s comfortableness with Palin’s incendiary stumping, and that she should be freed from capitivity to go spread the red meat gospel against The Enemy. Palin earned her parole with a wink and a stunning victory over grotesquely low expectations in her debate against Biden. Palin was able to form complete sentences a majority of the time, throw out question-deflecting chaff, and score a zippy zinger or two to keep her conservative base lactating. I’m certain after the debate she thought, ‘Shit, this game is easy. I need to get creepy coot out my way, so I can lead this ticket’. Palin was given free rein the next week to go backstop the softening backend of McCain’s 10 point bleedout against Obama. She launched the Ayers assault, pulling her attacks straight from the comments forum of NewsMax and Drudge Headlines. The Reds were ecstatic! Finally, someone in the McCain campaign had balls, so to say! Palin whipped the crowds into a spit and spite froth. They yelled Traitor and Kill Him, referring to a United States Senator, a family man, and possibly the next President of their country.
McCain is in a tough vector. He needs the uncommitted middle to pull his way, but there is little attractive to an undecided mom - who used to be a 2004 soccer security mom but now is a 2008 social security mom - about crowds of rabid reds having a hate and hallelujah revival with Palin at the pulpit. But if McCain reels her back in again, the Right, who has begged their canidate to shank Obama in the next debate, will vomit up their kool-aid en masse, leap out of the McCain tank, write-in Palin for President, or stay home November 4th in an apathetic rage.
In two days, McCain has his final debate against Obama. If he plays Mac the Knife, he gains the Reds on the right, but loses the Purples in the middle. If he plays Mac the Knave, the Right will leave him behind regardless of their Palin rapture. What he needs to do is tie the meme of his backing for the anti-insurgency surge in Iraq and its eventual meta-success to his plans for the economy; a surge of financial search and destroy operations to kill the cancers infecting the American economy. That’s the tough milspeak that the Right loves and that’s the pseudo-sensible mismatching metaphors that the Middle gets - and it may just be the last legitimate move he has left in this election.
